Younger children’s responses to traumatic events tend to be more behavioral; they will SHOW you that they are upset, rather than tell you. In addition, they:

• Can regress behaviorally (bed-wetting, thumb-sucking, etc.) in response to distress
• May have strong startle responses, nightmares, and outbursts since their brains do not have the ability to calm fears
• Think in images and are more likely to process trauma through play, drawing, and storytelling

School-age children will take cues from adults’ non-verbal behaviors regarding how serious the illness or injury is, and how to respond. They may discount verbal explanations if what they observe and notice does not match up with what adults are telling them. In addition, they:

• Will use their imagination to "fill in the blanks" when they do not have realistic information
• Sometimes imagine that an illness or injury is punishment for something they did wrong
• Can experience significant grief and loss reactions, even if the loss was expected and discussed.

• Can be idealistic or unrealistic in their expectations
• Can be self-conscious and sensitive about looking different from peers
• Will sometimes act more grown up than they feel inside, and will protect others from their thoughts and feelings.
• May not like feeling more dependent on parents and other adults due to their illness, just as they are moving toward independence.